YO CROWD!!! LETS GET LOUD!!!

Guess what's my newest passion!?!?! It's not basketball, it's not debating, neither is it studying... it's CHEER LEADING!!!
SAY WHAT?!?!
Give me a C... ( screaming echoes cccccc as the team moves one step forward)

give me a H... ( screeming echoes hhhhh as the team moves another step forward)

Give me an E^2... ( louder echoes this time as people are usually more confident when pronouncing vovels... and because it's squared everyone jumps 2 steps)

give me a C... ( doubtful echoes cause i made a spelling mistake)( i realise... so i improvise)

give me a backspace...( then everyone does a backflip and shout backspace with the hands in front of them like how i often do it)

give me a R... ( softer echoes r because their tiredness has caused damping to their longditudanal wave's amplitude)

So what's that spell? Cheerleader!!! Yaya i know it only spells cheer but understood la yo. So ya... why am i so enthusiastic about cheer? Umm i dunno it just looks and feels fun. I just enjoy myself everytime i touch my toes in the air. But unfortunately for me, PFS does'nt have an all-boys team. I really dont know why... maybe pom-pons dont do manlihood any justice. Or maybe some ppl think it's just plain sissy!!! But it's NOT!!! (i've got to get an applause for this... this very line could win me youth speaks for the nation or even US presidency) I mean come on seriously... in ancient times lacy pink and lilac handkerchiefs were the symbols of a knights bravery. But what can i do... only an insignificant handful of boys in my form like cheerleading... but the irony is we r all muscular... girls control yourselfs... boys don't mess with the facts! ya so what should i do?
i've got a plan... u know i always do... muahahaha...want to know what it is?
READY? OK!!
i'm gonna start a squad!!! SAY WHAT?!?! yea i'm going to start a squad! I'm opening it to the boys who are deprived from the wonderful experiences of leaping, jumping, falling down, doing splits, basket tosses, wolf jumps, pikes and the ultimate thrill of opening our mouths so wide that our saliva gets contained in our lower jaw sort of like a reservoir and the little flicking things cheer leaders do to their head to make it look more pretensiously excited if there's such a word... but seriously that's scarry... what if we bite our tongues off in the process? I think we'll scrape the head thing off, yea guys... lets keep it safe.
SO here are the requirements to join my squad which will eventually be tearmed our squad and which will move on to win the national cheer finals. Go team! anyway here they are ...

1. you must be a boy ( sorry girls... i'm really sorry)
2. you must be willing to wear our team attire no matter how unappealing or body hugging it may seem... i shall reveal it to u later... the attire... not my body
3. you must show me spirit fingers every time including when you are writing your essays
4. you must stick to a specific diet 3 months before competition which includes no chicken consumption and no colgate... only darlie
5. and I must know you!!!

so when i get my all boy team i think I'm gonna name it the GIRLS...

Guys Imitating Radical Ladylike Stunts or Guys In Really Lovable Skirts or something like that la k my mind cant work now. So anyone up for it? Please leave your name on my shout box. AND FOR ALL OF YOU UP FOR A CHALLANGE be you a cheerleader or not... try this

Go GIRLS

we defy taciturnity (whoo ooo whoo)

so enthusiastic we got u on yr knees ( kneel down)

we so good we make history (lift hand and show thumbs up)

you so scared u go pee pee ( don't have to do actions for this)

we got our pom pons by our side (take pom-pons and wave around frenzily)

our toe touches cart-wheels are our pride (half do toe touch half do cart wheel)

our splits make your knees collide (everyone splits except four who bite thier nails and shiver)

so afraid you run and hide ( run around)

we dont know what lack lustre maens ( lift some one high up and he shrugs his shoulders)

we just jump about like jelly beans ( basket toss n d rest bring hands infront of chest n bounce)

the trophie's ours or so it seems ( run to the trophie and lick the trophie slowly)

you can't win even in your dreams ( everyone falls down n pretends to sleep for one minute)( get to take a break and catch breath but they dunno they thought it's part of the act.. haha...smart move josh)

we dont care what you do today (frm lying position suddenly jump up and point)

we don't even care if you are gay ( smack your bottom then smack your friends bottom)

the route to the glory we lead the way ( do some marching)

who's gonna win let me hear you say!!!! ( put right hand towards left ear n left hand points right)

THE GIRLS ARE IN THE HOUSE!!! and the house's on fire!( echo: hot hot hot we're red hot!)( hands 20 degrees from hips then wriggle fingers and do short jumps like in a fitz)

oooo

THE GIRLS ARE IN THE HOUSE!!! and the house's on fire! (ouch ouch better dont touch)( pivot elbows into hips then swing about 360 degrees clockwise and anticlockwise very fast)

superpoposisition of domination! SUPERPOPOSISITION OF DOMINATION! SUPERPOPOSISITION OF DOMINATION!!! ( somebody frm crowd shouts: what's your lamda!??!)

G!(left hand arches over head right hand bent wrist 90* pointing left brought towards chest then shout as loud as you can Gggggg!)

I! (fists clenched in praying position and lifted straight up above head wriggle about and scream like you never screamed before Iiiiii!)

L! (hands still in earlier position rotate body 90* clockwise and stick butt out as much as you can then with all your might say Llll! i know this is hard but with practice we can do it!)

R! (stick out three fingers from right hand... bring hand directly below ear while left hand kept at negaraku position then with the three fingers under your ear CLAW! and say a soft sharp prefabaly in A# rrrrrrr! you know like the growling thingy)

S! (again turn body to right arch both hands over head, stick stomach out and tip- toe then say s)

EXCLAMATION POINT! (both hands overlap each other and hug body tightly and shake the hips vigorously then altogether jump forward turn around and stick butt out with a short sudden force!)( hopefully no gas is emitted)

then jump around like crazy as if our routine is over but then as the next team wants to take the floor we still dont move... then we suddenly drop our heads down and group together and then lift it up again with one hand fingers spread out over face then we say as macho as we can...

boys!

ok thats it... see yo soon don't forget to sign up ya!

if a picture paints a thousand words

many ppl have asked me where r the pictures why so dull so bland lousy blog mine so much nicer no pictures la why no pictures where r the colours
well i love pictures no doubt but if i can write a thousand words why paint? haha no la i'm not that tech savvy where i can just plug my cam on the com and do stuff and i dont have the time... sorry but whenever u see too many words and u want to rest your eyes just look to the left of my blog and see the good looking guy in the small box and relax yr eyes a little then continue reading.
and i realised that i type too much and always on fridays...i'm sorry it's the only time i'm free and i seriously dunno why i type so much, maybe it's spm stress.
p/s to really enjoy, read my posts as how u think i would say them... u know then may be a wee bit nicer lo. haha bye bye (no this is weird) y bye bye?

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS WEEKLY WITH JOSHUA

The entertainment world is going crazy... let's see why....so what's the buzz!!! here are the top stories...

• katy perry's "surprising" confession
• rihana's dum dum de dum...bashing
• the convict who assulted mariah carry finally surfaces

Headlines

Rising starlet Katy Perry had a lot to say about her latest addiction... yes "she kissed a boy" and "she liked it"...wow! Right after hearing that, Beyonce wished she was a boy!!! In reply to the earlier statement, veteran performer and formally bald Britney Spears commented...

"I think katy perry's a womanizer!!!! she belongs in the circus!!!" and yes "oops she did it again!" thank you very much Britney!

And did you realise that boyfriend stealer Ariel Lavinge was saying she could be your girlfriend one minute and the next she's saying when you're gone... strange

In a seperate issue, desperate band the Black Eyed Peas wants to get it started in here... but they still cant find the love... so just where is the love??? Usher has offered his deepest sympathies said the RnB hit artist "Dont worry we still can make love in this club... but it'll be like moving mountains...but who cares just burn!"

Moving on, troubled mariah carrey has gone around for quite some time telling everyone that "A hero came along, touched my body, then said bye bye..." and yes whoever you are beware for she will hunt you down. Is it true or is it just a publicity stunt to open a door to who knows what miracles. Finally after months of the news been circulated American Idol sensation David Cook has surfaced and confessed to the crime. Said he, "It was the time of my life and i tried to leave the light on when i was gone but the bulb must have fused."

But what's been the talk of the town? It has to be Rihanna's big bashing... Who did it? And with what?.. The question still remains, but to my descretion i think it had something to do with an umbrella... but dont ask me ask Britney she's the one with the experience in umbrella bashing if you know what i mean. back to the story, it is said that when Rihanna regained conciousness she seeked help from passerbys no one helped her as everyone was at the grammys oops what happened to your boyfriend, Rihanna? Wasn't he suppose to be with you with you with you with you with you... haha so many yous maybe he was with the other you. BTW no one except dejeted James Blunt who's still in his own world of 1973 singin here we go again happened to stumble upon her. empathically he said "I'll carry you home" but Rihanna shouted back " just shut up and drive!" surprising, Rihanna you're lucky it was James and not Leonna Lewis or she'll just mock you "Keep bleeding keep keep bleeding!"

In response to the script's question of the day on "who is the man that cannot be moved?" some famous artists had a lot to say

Christina Auguleria: the Candyman!

Michael Jackson: the man in the mirror (funny sounds)

Alicia Keys: no one! (yea right)

Favourite duchess Fergie has been put into lock up because everytime she comes around the London Bridge comes falling down. However according to speciallised agents from the scotland yard, she's under perfect care and she's undergoing intensive spelling classes. Don't ak me why listen to her songs... Meanwhile troubled amy winehouse is still singing You try to make me go the rehab but i say no no no! NO! PLEASE!

In health,it is confirmed that the teriffic trio the Jonas Brothers have been bitten by the love bug. Following this they have been quarantined for a few months because all of them are burning up!!! Looks like there aint gonna be anymore screaming girls for a long time. Fellow american idol Jourdin Sparks has made a public statement that tatoos are bad for health as they make you no air whatever that means. meanwhile David Archie has met with an accident and is asking is it crushed? amiss all this Lindsay Lohan still can't sing and Duffy's begging her for mercy...

sports

Michael Bubble won everything except for the little things which Colbie Calliat won

Lastly i did an interview with certain stars and i asked them what they thought of the world now going haywire crazy and the entertainment business being the major source of this. Here are what some stars had to say...

Rihanna: it's Disturbia!( then she goes on singing some dum dum dee dum thingys which are just too horrible to write.) By the way i told her to Stop the music!

Pink: So what!!! i'm still a rock star!

Colbie Callait: Oh my gosh i just realised!

John Mayor: Say what you need to say, i'll keep on waiting on the world to change.

conclusion

so what have we Christians got to say when the world's turning in all of it's ways.

3 simple lines

YOU ARE MY STRENGTH, TILL I SEE YOU, I'LL TELL THE WORLD

confessions of a roman excecutioner

It's been more than a week... i still can't get it off my mind. It truly isn't something i can boast about.
What rung in the corners of my cerebrum that deep silent night after the incident wasn't triumphant shouts going " I slayed the mighty beast that once lurked the swamps of Teggidi!!!" or "the King of spain's daughter accepted my proposal" neither was it the jolly phrase "My apple tree bore apples!" but rather it was a sorrowful guiltfilled cry..."i manhandled an innocent Micky". Yes i did.
I know what i did is'nt something to boast about as it was the ultimate act of weakness. In all strength of my species of genus i allowed myself to pick on a lower class being... an almost harmless creature... a creation that in its frailty brought so much joy and magic to little deprived children all over the face of the earth...a being that brought hope to the hopeless with it's irritating but still soothing squeeky voice... yes(angry)... yes(sad)... yes(desperate) i am ashamed.
I heard confession is good for the soul so here i post the incident that still haunts me.
It began with the ringing of the bell signifying it was biology period. my class and i got ready to adjourn to the Lab where the most devious and evil day of our lives awaited us. As i took a step into the bio lab the scent of stale antisceptics being mopped onto the table filled the air and entered my nasal cavity and thus the receptors transfered nerve impulses to my brain which in turn deciphered the electric impulses into the word DISASTER! for the first time walking into the lab didnt feel like it... it felt like walking thru the gateway with the word MURDER 101 (written on a decaying plank with blood) hung on it.
Then she appeared... my bio teacher. She said we could not carry on with the planned process, there was murmuring but as we spoke the delivery man came and our plan was sent flying back on track. The man walked in to the lab in his tight blue jeans, chequered shirt, tobacco pipe and high leather boots. And in his huge gruff hands was a huge cage... in it lined the victims all naked and oblivious to their fate. He chose a few of the victims grabbing them forcefelly and putting a black plastic bag over their faces NOT to help them ease their torture by taking away one of their sense BUTto inflict more pain by replacing the reality of what was about to happen to them with hallucinations so horrible that only one in that sad situation could comprehend. Then he did it with a chloroform filled cotton wool he druged each of them to a dimension where they would only be able to feel the pain but not make a single sound or complain about it.a chamber of torture in one's own body! At that spur of the moment we 5 "BUDIMANS" jubilated with the hitman!
As the innocent lives scampered for their survival, we could see their guiltless eyes pleading their case against us... huh... what could we do? Didn't the survivor of the fittest theory justify our actions? The dominant race wins!!! Five minutes was all it took to end a life that was made thru a longer and much more complicated process. It was murder in it's most cruel form. Then each of us took one of these brain dead but not nerve dead so called lower classlings ( now i know it's very confusing up to this point and i really really hope u dont think we murdered the students from the second and third class since i am talking so much about classes... i know i'm blabbing... maybe it's my emotions... maybe it's SPM... maybe it's guilt (confused)... guilt(sad)...guilt (guilty).)
Then still controlled by our greed and inhumanity we each took for ourselves one creature, a knife, a garderner's scissors, a glove, a mask, a chopping board and a dynamite. Following the instructions of our master we pinned the limbs of the now pain-stricken beings to the huge chopping board with a nail of a radius 2cm and which area keeps increasing with time... u can calculate the rate of change with differentiation. And due to our lack of experience we slit a long line from his bladder to his throat.... then we sliced of the sticky layer thet joins your epidermis to your dermis and then sliced the dermis open once more from the bladder till the throat! Pulling and pinning sides of his skin to the board we all laughed with excitement but learnt not to laugh again because the smell that this decaying being was releasing was too unbearable. Many of the once valliant looking warriors of man fell to their defeat in this process but my freinds and i carried on taking a deep breath from the other side of the class and then turning back to continue on with the process of torture for as long as our lungs contained usable oxygen before repeating the breathing process again.
ONCE we managed to slit open the dermis we saw all of his internal organs arrayed in such an orderly and vulnerable fashion inviting us to temper with it... and so we did. the first organ for us to extract was the colon which looked like a huge brown prawn only spongier. we then pulled out his small intestine and spread it around him... a form of ancient mockery... as if he wasn't undergoing enough pain. But we were too engrossed to stop so we carried on. The liver, kidneys, ribcage, stomach were next... and then came his still pounding heart which we plucked out as if we were plucking an apple from a peach tree some other groups were so estatic at the sight of blood that they proceeded to try to break through the skull to venture further into his brain but it was not to be as God had given him a strong skull. It's funny how i can still mention God at this point but it's mindblowing how God can forgive anyone including a wreck like me.
as we approached the end of MURDER 101 my friend found a spot where if poked with a knife would produce a short reflexive movement of one of his limbs and so we all played in his folly. once we were done extracting and playing with all the organs it was time to clean up... my friends were still playing with the empty skinned body of the victim taking pictures and all... but as for me guilt started to take over. It's funny how we can sin and not feel anything until after what's done is done so the next time u're bout to sin... stop and think. As we got ready to leave thr lab, we saw each of the manhandled victims thrown into a black plastic bag that once contained their last breaths.
With blood splattered all over the walls and with the looming shaddows of the lab assistants coming out with their mops ever so mechanically the smell of the air now teamed with the same scent of antisceptic that we sensed when we entered. But this time my brains deciphered another word. As if my own mind was mocking me the words spelt out clearly for me to see... M..U..R..D..E..R..E..R..!!
I needed someone to take away mu guilt but how could i find confide and comfort in the shoulders of the people who have committed the same crime as i have? So i now overwhealmed by guilt confess not hoping for judgement but for love and forgiveness. will i ever be forgiven for the things i did the day i manhandelled an innocent micky...
i will never know

p/s; we found out that the rat was acctually an eunuch as it had no reproductive organs... must have been an eunuch... not the ethiopian one though.
btw forgive my spelling errors and my gramatical mistakes... stay tuned for more mishaps from the bio lab. till then...

a green sloth with pink polka dots

I have soooo many things i wanna write about but unfortunately i don't have the time to sit down and type!!! So please be patient and wait... anyway go CAVELL! bye...

SNOW WHITE i feel your pain

Well i'm sure most of u have watched the disney version of snow white and the seven dwarfs... and i'm also sure some of you were acctually cheering the evil witch on as she tricked the poor little girl into eating the "poison apple"!!!!... cruel ppl... Well snow white, i feel your pain.

On New Year's day i went home after watch night service... and i went to the kitchen to get an apple. note: i've been eating apples a lot quite recently. Well i then watched TV as i savoured the apple...not knowing that it was poisoned by the evil grocery stall aunty. I stayed up until like 3am and i couldnt take it no longer so i hit the sheets. That night i was trembling... i felt sooo cold so i left my room and headed to the hall where i thought it may be warmer...it was no different and at last in the wee hours of the morning i vommited out the poison apple!!! 7 barfs is all it took to fill up my dad's gigantic bathroom sink with apple juice.

So when most of u all were rejoicing, your poor 'snow white' here had an encounter with a poison apple and 7 barfs.Well i was weak the whole of january the 1st... lied on my bed most of the time... SIGH what a way to begin a new year.

lights...camera...action

S H O W T I M E ! ! !